Let’s be frank. The idea of having happy hours as a regular habit may seem too “middle class” to some. Many won’t admit this to be true, but test the theory on friends who are occasional drinkers and see for yourself. I’m here to tell you that it’s a dumpster way of thinking, and if you want to survive in South Beach as a tight-fisted, or even just a smart spender, you’ve got to get over yourself when it comes to it. it’s happy hour. Don’t just be cool with it, rather KISS it. Everyone in South Beach does it, even millionaires. South Beach happy hours are legendary, mainly because they predate many residents who live here, but also because they instill a sense of fairness.
You’re not too good at happy hour so stop telling yourself you are and do what literally everyone in South Beach is doing.
The best happy hour in South Beach is, by far, Lost Weekend’s gigantic jug of domestic draft beer, which costs $ 8. It serves around 5 pints of beer and costs what a pint would cost just about anywhere on the beach and in much of Brickell or Wynwood.
If beer isn’t your thing, head to Santorini in the South of Fifth district at the Bentley Beach Club. They have $ 5 cocktails and wine, a great Greek summer vibe, and an outdoor area with a lovely patio, pool, and lounge chairs. Oh, and they also have a menu of small bites for happy hour. Imagine having 4 well-made cocktails in your swimsuit in the late afternoon with moderately harmless European house music in the background, feet in the pool, eating souvlaki . Now imagine that you walk away with a $ 35 ticket for this experience. You are welcome.
Don’t get me wrong or underestimate the volume of a giant pizza slice
Haters will tell you that paying $ 5 to $ 7 for a slice of pizza is criminal. They’re not wrong, if we’re talking about the standard shit pie that 85% of Americans mistake for decent pizza. They’re wrong, however, when it comes to South Beach’s obnoxiously large giant pizza slices. The king of all the jumbo slices in South Beach, bar none, is Primo’s Pizza in the southern fifth section of town. It might not be real New York pizza, but honestly, what is it outside of New York? What Primo’s offers is a $ 5-6 pizza slice the size of your head that can easily fill a person, even after drinking. They are open until 5 a.m. on weekends and are close to many bars. You do the math there.
The novelty sized slice of pizza is a great way for cheaper others to wipe up their cheap aperitif time drinks and get some carbs to wander the beach, during the day like at night. You can get two slices and two beers for between $ 22 and $ 25, while being seated a few blocks from the city’s poshest restaurants, clubs, and beach hotels. Primo’s isn’t the only giant slice store either. In fact, there are probably 5-10 more just in the entertainment district. No one charges more than $ 8 per slice, and all the slices are as big as about 3 normal slices you would get in a standard pie.
The man (the woman) cannot live on pizza alone …
This is why navigating healthy eating as a South Beach stingy is extremely important as well. Lucky for you, there are some great options. The “My Ceviche” restaurant is one of South Beach’s most underrated places for fresh food. It used to be a small kitchen in a hostel, but the hostel is now closed permanently. My Ceviche, however, continues to vibrate with heavy on-site and take-out dining, even though it doesn’t actually have a dining room. There are a few tables set up on the sidewalk for guests, but the movement here is to win. What should I take to leave? Well, more than a ceviche.
This place offers fresh salads, poke bowls, burritos, lime flavored crisps and hand cut popcorn. You can substitute rice for cauliflower rice, get wheat tortillas for fiber, and eat fresh fish, shrimp, and chicken with a Caribbean AND Mediterranean vibe to the seasonings. Oh, and the burritos and salads are around $ 12, with a real ceviche costing a little over half that. The movement here, South Beach cheapskates, is impromptu alfresco dining. You grab some goodness to go, walk the 3 blocks to South Pointe Park, hit a bench on the bay boardwalk or a blanket in the grass, and have a picnic. Grab a bottle of wine from the nearest bodega (the Playa market in this case) or a few beers, and make it a night out. Don’t be a jerk, and throw away your trash when you’re done. Not being a dick is free, by the way. WIN / WIN for the cheapskates.
There are plenty of other healthy and inexpensive places to grab and visit all over the beach, but not in the entertainment district. If you’re not south of Fifth, check out Rice Mediterranean on Alton Rd. For great pita wraps, salads, and (duh) rice platters. You can also grab some amazing juices and shakes at Joe and the Juice, which has a number of locations across town, INCLUDING in the Entertainment District. Of course, you might not find these options “cheap” compared to what you can make at home with fruits and vegetables. The average dollar cost of refueling rather than having lunch in Planta is insane, however. Even at $ 9 a juice, if you load up 3 in an afternoon, you just spent what you would have for a little appetizer at any popular and healthy South Beach hangout. Thank me later.
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